PLUM NUTS

I LOVE THE SHOES, and the pup’s expression (although I’m suspicious that’s just his natural face and not a voluntary expression)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DINAH, I AM RARELY FORTHCOMING WITH MY EMOTIONS BUT PLEASE DON’T EVER LEAVE ME. I HAD A NIGHTMARE YESTERDAY WHEREIN YOU DIED IN A FREAK PEDICURE ACCIDENT AND I WAS FORCED TO LIVE WITH A WOMAN WHO ATE CARBS AND PURCHASED CLOTHING AT STORES THAT ALSO SELL HOME ELECTRONICS. IT WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING. FOR AS LONG AS WE LIVE, LET US LIVE TOGETHER, ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

I SIMPLY COULDN’T BEAR IT IF I WERE SOMEHOW THRUST INTO THE PASTY ARMS OF A TOURIST. I LICK MY ASS WITH MORE POISE AND GRACE THAN SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE WALK DOWN THE AISLE.